Auto-Tune the News #11: Pure Poppycock. (ft. Joel Madden)
attn 11 mp3: http://bit.ly/bVtip3
Broadcasters become stars and stars become broadcasters as an ominous hip-hop sample infuses the news of the day. Joel Madden guests as a fictional CBS correspondent. UPDATE: any resemblance the intentional performers may bear to media personalities living or dead is purely coincidental.
Lyrics available in the closed captions (turn the on at the bottom-right-hand corner of the youtube player)!
and here:
NF: You have the charisma of a damp rag!
Gorilla: Damp rag!
NF: You have the appearance of a bank clerk!
Gorilla: Bank Clerk!
NF: Who are you? I'd never heard of you!
Gorilla: Eat my poo!
NF: Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you!
But I have no doubt that it's your intention
To be the quiet assassin of European democracy.
Perhaps that's because you come from Belgium
Which of course, is pretty much a non-country.
We don't know you, we don't want you!
The sooner you're put out to grass, the better!
We don't like you, we don't want you!
Gorilla: Our logic and reason have proved you wrong!
Bølverk: Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong!
Gorilla: Don't make me have to start World War III !
Bølverk: Bring it on, these guns are WMD!
NG: We don't know you, we don't want you!
We don't like you, we don't want you!
KC: Last month, comedian Bill Cosby
was surprised to read that he died.
JM: How can he read if he's dead?
KC: Chief Justice John Roberts
was the last to know he resigned.
JM: Maybe he should check his head!
KC:All of those stories, of course are pure poppycock
that proliferated online.
JM: I do it all the time, makin up s--- is so sublime.
KC: But that of course is little solace for the reader
who simply wants to surf the web
without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies.
JM: You can't protect the web from a--holes like me, shorty!
KC: Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies
Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool
JM: Don't play me for a fool you know as well as I,
we're both getting owned by the
Both: Rip, riptide of lies
pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies
Pure poppycock!
I want to surf, surf the web
without getting pulled under
by a rip, riptide of lies!
GB: You hit on a guy at a wedding.
EM: I I So
GB: Explain that one first.
EM: Okay, so we're at a wedding, New Year's Eve,
everyone had too much to drink.
There were 300 people there,
I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her,
I grabbed a bachelor.
Now they're sayin I groped a male staffer!
Yeah, I did! - Um. - Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Staffers: A manly back-rub. Just a back rub!
EM: We all live together, all the bachelors and me.
Staffers: Naked in the tub!
EM:You can take anything out of context!
Staffers:Huggin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Scrubbin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Rubbin and humpin!
EM: Yeah!
Staffers: Ticklin and jumpin!
EM: Yeah, yeah! I tickled him till he couldn't breathe,
then four guys jumped on me.
It's my fiftieth birthday.
GB: Whether you're telling the truth or not,
An avalanche is coming your way.
An avalanche of lies,
SG: pulled under by an avalanche of lies!
KC/JM: Pure poppycock!
GB: Whether you're telling the truth or not,
SG: you're guaranteed to get caught
Both: in an avalanche of lies!
Staffer: Massa staffers! Droppin a St. Bernard of truth
But we already drank the brandy
My boss tickles me like a true G,
He straddles me so masculine
No stoppin' when i'm askin' him
When he cootchie-coo my armpits, i'm a goner
Tryna pretend that i don't notice his boner!
Tryna distract him with headlines from China
He just drop his drawers and pull out his vagina!
--------
Staffers:
Whenever you hear the boss swaggerin down the hall,
you know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls!
You have to be a soldier, a real man,
to soothe a male staffer with the stroke from a tender hand!
Ain't nothin wrong with a Massa massage
when you're in a chronic platonic quintuple menage!
The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can't escape
Tryna pretend they don't notice when he ejacu- -
OBAMA SINGS REPLAY?!?! Views: 2741006 In a candid appeal to the American people, President Obama turns to the Top 40 for inspiration....
Smoking Lettuce: Auto Tune the News #5 Views: 1921232 Gregory Brothers return with another stellar jam, this time tackling among other things lettuce...
Author PirateMcSandwich (11 hours) Nigel Farage is a badass
Author morganza2827 (11 hours) Heyyyy, over the line
Author jgrig123 (12 hours) 478 people we pulled under by a riptide of lies and hit the dislike button in the process.
Author grandtheftkitty (12 hours) 478 people read that they were dead
Author VesrynK45 (15 hours) Nigel Farage is absolutely crazy but you have to admit he's hilarious. Notice all the people here are having a lot of fun watching him. Even Gordon Brown was laughing when Farage was insulting him.
Author EvanOrlowsky (15 hours) most epic auto-tune the news
Author mariapeinazo (16 hours) @jasongorgeous I think that he is a Spanish politician and that's his real head
Русский
Deutsch
Franc,ais
is that godspeed at the very start ahhaha? switches into hihop
Author jiujames (1 hour)
how did u get joel madden on this
Author Fullmetalsgal (1 hour)
lol i'm so embarrased on behalf of britain by Nigel Farage XD god I cant believe he said those things :P
Author JustinC721 (2 hours)
478 people need to go back to douchebagistan where they belong!
Author coolcapt1 (4 hours)
this vid is vereh laggy for me. there must be to much awsomeness for my computer to handle
Author slope223 (5 hours)
actually the trick is to click to ugetify..com to get the 256k version of this mp3.
Author dextersmith2000 (6 hours)
@gunnarsigf ..gotcha..thanks!
Author gunnarsigf (6 hours)
@dextersmith2000 WMD = Weapons of Mass Destruction ;)
Author dextersmith2000 (7 hours)
"The guns are WMD" ? .....what's that mean ?
Author TheDarkwind2005 (7 hours)
@CirqueDeArt
Make that 478 lol
Author bluemanfan88 (8 hours)
katie couric playing the theremin... priceless. <3
Author cantocicco1 (9 hours)
LOL DOUCHEBAGISTAN?!?!?!
Author PirateMcSandwich (11 hours)
Nigel Farage is a badass
Author morganza2827 (11 hours)
Heyyyy, over the line
Author jgrig123 (12 hours)
478 people we pulled under by a riptide of lies and hit the dislike button in the process.
Author grandtheftkitty (12 hours)
478 people read that they were dead
Author VesrynK45 (15 hours)
Nigel Farage is absolutely crazy but you have to admit he's hilarious. Notice all the people here are having a lot of fun watching him. Even Gordon Brown was laughing when Farage was insulting him.
Author EvanOrlowsky (15 hours)
most epic auto-tune the news
Author mariapeinazo (16 hours)
@jasongorgeous I think that he is a Spanish politician and that's his real head
Author noahmurad (16 hours)
1:37- 2:00 and 2:44- 3:05 amazing harmony!!!
Author noahmurad (16 hours)
1:37- 2:00 and 2:44- 3:05and amazing harmony!!!
Author jasongorgeous (17 hours)
Dude's head in the background at 0:46 looks WAY too big.
Author sonic2batt (17 hours)
*singing*an av-a-lanche of lies..
Author moarcatz (18 hours)
Backrub guys seems to be missing part of his eyebrows
Author kilogram19 (19 hours)
Everything sounds better Auto-Tuned.